Confusion

Sometimes I feel so empty,
like I've got nothing to give,
and nothing to fill up the holes.
For everything there was is lost,
or maybe nothing ever was?

And sometimes I get lost inside,
don't feel dead, nor alive.
Floating away from all that's real,
still being there is what I fear.

But though I'm living in the silence
I'm always screaming on the inside.
What frightens me, amuses others.
Everything here feels so wrong,
though it's all where it belongs.

-youlis 2005